SEXUAL NUMBNESS ISN’T DYSFUNCTION — IT’S DEFENSE

A GinkgoMinds Blog by Jo Oswin

You think you’re broken. You’ve googled low libido. You’ve blamed your hormones, your stress, your partner.

You’ve tried to get in the mood. You’ve done the oils, the lingerie, the mindfulness. You’ve pushed through. You’ve shut down. You’ve faked your way through it, hoping the real feeling would follow.

But here’s the truth:

You’re not broken. You’re protecting yourself.

YOUR BODY SHUTS DOWN WHAT IT ONCE HAD TO ENDURE

If your body learned that sex equals danger, that desire led to punishment, that touch meant obligation —then numbness isn’t dysfunction. It’s your nervous system doing its job. Because your pleasure doesn’t need to be loud to be real. It doesn’t have to match a trend, a performance, or someone else’s pace. It doesn’t need to be spontaneous or pornographic or “wild.”It doesn’t need to return in fireworks.It just needs to come from you.

From a place where your body says:“I’m safe now. I’m home here. I get to want this.”

That might take time. It might be messy. You might grieve the versions of you who never got to say no, who said yes to survive, who confused giving in with giving love.

But healing isn’t about fixing what’s wrong with you. It’s about meeting the part of you that shut down —and saying:“You don’t have to protect me like that anymore. I’m here now.”

And that… is erotic. Not in the way the world taught you.But in the way your nervous system whispers when it finally exhales:We made it.

🖤 READY TO GO DEEPER?

In my Patreon community, we talk about what happens after the numbness.

We speak the truth no one said out loud:That healing your erotic self isn't a return — it's a reconstruction. Of boundaries. Of voice. Of choice. Of agency.

And in my signature workshop series, Who the Fuck Am I Becoming?, we move through nervous system safety, trauma-informed eroticism, and desire that doesn’t betray your body to be real.

This isn’t about “getting your sex life back.”

This is about finally having one that belongs to you.

If that speaks to something buried —you’re already on your way.

xx Josi