THE MYTH OF “LOW MAINTENANCE”:

HOW AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT MASQUERADES AS POWER

You think you’re chill. Low drama. Low maintenance. Emotionally mature.

But here’s the truth that stings:You’re not chill, you’re disconnected. You’re not low maintenance, you’re low permission. You’ve made a habit of not needing anyone—because when you did need someone, they didn’t show up.

Psychologist Dr. Amir Levine, co-author of Attached, explains:

“Avoidantly attached individuals suppress their attachment system and convince themselves that they don’t need emotional closeness to thrive.”

But no one thrives in a cave.

You’ve confused emotional starvation with strength. You’ve mistaken numbness for clarity. And you’re so proud of not asking for anything, you don’t even notice how much it’s costing you.

You say “I just need space”but mean “I don’t trust this not to implode.”

You say “I’m not into clinginess”but mean “I’ve never had someone meet my needs without punishment.”

Avoidant attachment isn’t apathy. It’s hyper-independence dressed up as enlightenment. It’s the wound that keeps you self-sufficient and spiritually dehydrated.

✦ IVITATION TO CRACK OPEN:

Let someone bring you soup. Let someone in before the breakdown. Ask for reassurance before your inner child starts sharpening knives. Stop branding your needs as burdens.

You can be self-possessed and connected. You can be powerful and held. You can unlearn the lie that says“Needing someone makes me weak.”

Needing someone means you're human.

Let that be sacred.

xx Josi